"Merry" Christmas

Our Christmas was a good one this year. It is fun to be with family and friends and especially fun to watch Lane and Estelle have so much fun. Estelle mostly loved the attention she got and the wrapping paper and ribbons. Of course Lane had a blast with all his cousins and was excited about all the new toys!

As the time passes, I think more and more of how different Case would be. He would be a big boy now at 2 1/2! I watch my niece Hazel who is only a few months younger and try to imagine what he'd be doing now. I'm reading a book on grieving and tonight I read this poem in it I thought it was very fitting for Christmas night.

"Merry" Christmas

I question if Christmas can ever be merry

Except to the heart of an innocent child

For when time has taught us the meaning of sorrow

And sobered the spirits that once were so wild,

When all the green graves that lie scattered behind us

Like milestones are marking the length of the way

And echoes of voices that no more shall greet us

Have saddened the chimes of the bright Christmas Day

We may not be merry, the long years forbid it,

The tears that have brought us such manifold smarts,

But we may be happy, if only we carry

The Spirit of Christmas deep down in our hearts.

Hence I shall not wish you the old "Merry Christmas"

Since that is of shadowless childhood a part

But one that is holy and happy and peaceful,

The Spirit of Christmas deep down in your heart.

- author anonymous

Whatever you may be struggling with this Christmas it is my prayer that you can carry the true Spirit of Christmas in you heart.

This Christmas...

Christmas has always been a happy time in our house. Our family really likes to decorate and watch Christmas movies, etc. This year I have tried to read more Christmas books to the kids and for the first time I have a nativity set. I got the Little People one, because Estelle really likes Little People. I have been baking a ton, and even having a couple people over for a little Christmas dinner. I do love this season and everything that comes with it, even if it is a little stressful. I am also trying to teach Lane a more and more about what Christmas means. This age is so fun, he just soaks everything up!

A couple nights ago we went to Hotel Del Coronado to go ice skating. Reese and Lane ice skated, Estelle and I watched. It is so beautiful there. They have the hotel all lit up and gorgeous trees decorated perfectly.

Estelle is now 13 months old. She had her 12 month check up last month. She is 23 lbs and almost 30 inches. She is so so funny. She isn't much into walking, she is content to walk along the floor on her knees. I haven't seen a kid do that before, but that is how she gets around a lot of the time. My tree is a mess, Estelle re-decorates it on a daily basis. We also have a train track around the tree that gets torn apart and put back together 100 times a day. The joys of having a 1 year old. It doesn't stop me from having it all out though, she will learn :)

This is also the season that we had Case. From July 31st on I think of what we were doing with him at that time of year. How he was about 4 weeks old when we brought Lane to his first day of Kindergarten. Case was with us when we took a trip to the pumpkin patch. He was a chili pepper for Halloween. We took him up to WA at Thanksgiving and everyone got to meet him. Then there was Christmas time in Washington, his first and only Christmas. And then we took him back to our home and 12 days later he was gone. The last few days I have been overwhelmed with memories of him. A lot of them happy sweet memories of him, but I also have been remembering the painful memories too. The day of his death is so vivid in my mind. I think this time of year will always trigger these memories more than the rest of the year does. I have learned to allow myself to really take them in and work through the pictures in my mind. I read in a book that when a traumatic experience happens, it's like a bomb goes off in your brain, scattering bits and pieces of the experience all through out it. Sometimes those bits and pieces pop up unexpectedly, sometimes you can predict them coming. The important thing for me to do it work through them as they come, in the best way I know how.

This year I look at my two healthy children that we are raising here on this earth and I think of the sweet baby boy that I am loving from here to heaven and I am thankful. I am thankful that God sent his Son, so that we can have HOPE!

A Tale of Getting A Christmas Card Picture

Every year it seems like a struggle to get a good picture for our Christmas card. I could just do one with the kids, but I kind of want to include our whole family because we live away from our family and for them to see a family picture just seems more appropriate. So while our brothers were here visiting, we tried to get a picture. This was the first attempt.

Apparently the sun was a little bright for Lane.
AHHHHH my eyes!
Where did Lane go? Estelle's going to take a little nap.
AHHH my eyes again, and a gust of wind for mommy's hair. Nice.

So we go to a new location where the sun wasn't so bright. Now we are all shadowed.... These are the last couple pictures taken. Reese was getting a little bored with it at this point and decided to make a silly face.

And my favorite, Reese's Zoolander face. I am going to look back at this picture for years to come and laugh! I am happy to report that we did finally get a good picture on a totally different day. But that one will have to wait a little while until I get my cards sent out. Can't ruin the surprise!

Christmas Party

Reese and I had a fun opportunity for a get away last weekend. Reese's work Christmas party was an overnight function up in Laguna Beach. So his parents came down and watched the kids while we had a get away. We even went to the spa! It was fun to get dressed up since I don't get to do that very often and it was fun visiting with all his work buddies and wives.
We really are kind of goofy, no matter how dressed up we are.

Here we are waiting line to see Jim Brown!

Meeting Jim Brown (NFL Hall of Fame) I will be honest and say that I did not know who that was, but Reese did, so that's cool. Apparently he is pretty famous, because every sports fan I know totally knows who he is! He was huge by the way, look at his hand on my shoulder!
And of course we got to hang with Jon Voight. That was pretty exciting. He is a huge supporter of the military so it was great to meet him.

It was a fun night and a good get away for Reese and I without kids. We are also having a winning streak. I won $20 in a raffle drawing at the party, then we were at another party and won a doll for Estelle in a raffle and then today I got a call from Lane's school to let me know that his name was drawn for a $100 gift card to Target that was donated by a local church. I am going to go now, I am going to go find a bunch of giveaway's on blogs and enter!

Tis the Season

For making gingerbread houses!!


Last week we had fun decorating gingerbread houses. I hadn't made one since we lived in Washington and then my sister in law Cortnae made the houses and we just decorated them. So this year, I got the recipe from her and made the gingerbread houses. They worked like a charm and I even was able to make the trees stick together and stand up! Lane had a great time doing it (and eating half the candy) and he made it a competition with Reese. I am definitely going to try to make this a Christmas tradition.