Lane is 6!

My how time flies! I cannot believe that Lane is 6. I just love his little morning face and messy hair! He is big into Nutella. He wants it on toast every morning. So for his birthday breakfast he had "chocolate toast" with birthday candles in it.
We did not plan a party for Lane. We didn't want to make any for sure plans. So that day while Lane was in school we made a Lego brick cake and went and got some balloons. We also invited a couple of his friends over to play and have cake after school. It was nice and didn't take any planning which was exactly what I needed!

This guitar is Lane's favorite toy right now. His cousin Kai had one when he went to visit him and he thought it was the coolest thing. It plays 3 songs and he has to strum the guitar to make it play the guitar music. We have been rockin' out to Sweet Home Alabama for the last 3 days!
And of course, he loves his Legos. Thanks Hunter and Kristian, this helped mom and dad get off the hook for not getting him any Legos for his birthday :)
Lane was happy that his little sister wasn't born on his birthday. Not much progress to report in that area. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and not much has changed. How long can you be dilated to a 4? I guess I will find out :) Now she is full term so she can come anytime. I really wanted to make it to 37 weeks and now we have! Maybe she will be my stubborn one and go to 40 weeks. I wouldn't be surprised. Thanks for everyone's prayers. I am pretty much out of my funk, I am going to try to get some stuff done with the time I have before she is born.

You know the saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all." Well, I've been kinda quiet. Most of my close friends and family would say I don't normally live by that rule. I actually say a few too many things that are not nice and are probably better left unsaid. I am sarcastic, and sometimes I don't have a filter and things just fly out of my mouth. This past week I've just been in a funk. I still am. On Monday I had a doctor appointment, I was not quite 36 weeks at the time and already dilated to a 4. The midwife said she wouldn't be surprised if I had her within the week. I had both boys early, Lane at 38 weeks and Case at 37 weeks. As much as I want this little girl to be out of my oh so tired pregnant body, I do not want her to be considered "premature." If I can make it to this Tuesday, she will be full term. We were supposed to go on an all expense paid trip to Disneyland on Thursday-Saturday with Reese's work as a post deployment retreat. I was planning on going even if I just sat in the hotel room, that wouldn't have even been bad since it was at the Disneyland Resort Hotel for goodness sake! The kids had a Mickey Mouse farewell party yesterday with a bunch characters, John Voight was at the dinner on Thursday night. Grrrrrrr, we did not go. It was in this baby's best interest that we did not go. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't have just stayed in the hotel room the whole time and would probably have done "too much." I may have put myself into labor and it just would have been too early. Why am I so annoyed by this? I get a baby girl out of this deal! I think I am annoyed because this was not my plan. My plan was to have a 15 month old Case right now. We would have gotten through the deployment as planned and had fun at Disneyland with the family I had planned, Reese, me, our two boys. Don't get me wrong (I am misunderstood often). I am SOOOOO excited to have this baby. This little girl will bring so much joy to our family, I can't wait. God has different plans doesn't He. His plan is the best, whether I like it or not, whether I can see that or not. He promises to give me Peace along the paths HE has laid out for me, I just need to be willing to receive it. I think this baby hasn't come this week because God has a little more work to do in me first, in our family.

I am nervous to bring this baby home. As much as I would like bringing her home to make things "all better," it will not be all better. It actually may be a little worse for awhile. This is not just the normal welcoming another child into our family routine, it involves so much more than that. I can't even describe the emotions I am feeling and I am sure I can't even imagine what is ahead for me. I would love this to be a normal event, but it is not. Please pray, for an uncomplicated labor and birth, a healthy baby, and that we do this adjustment thing in the best way possible.

I have a little boy who is about to turn 6. They could share the same birthday, he is not too excited about that possibility. We are not doing a party for him here but Reese's family did a party for him last weekend while they were up in WA. Poor kid isn't even getting a new Halloween costume, Indiana Jones again this year. He doesn't seem to care though. He is so easy going, something I am so thankful for. We went to the community fall festival on Friday night, he won some billy bob teeth and went on some rides. We thought he was going to throw up on the ride below. Thankfully he did not, he gets car sick easily, I would not have been surprised! Not as good as Disneyland but he didn't seem to care, he still had fun.

35 1/2 weeks and SURPRISE!!

This is me, 35 1/2 weeks. It's been awhile since I've taken a picture and I am asking this little girl "How LOW can you go?" We have a busy next week. I have a doctor appt on Monday, we'll see how close we are then I guess. This time has flown by, I am excited, nervous, but excited. The anxiety has not been bad, not sure why, I think God has given me peace. I don't know how I will be once she is born, but I just pray for more peace as I take one day at a time.
Today I was surprised by a WONDERFUL group of women who I am so blessed to call my friends. They had a baby shower for me and actually pulled off a surprise one! I don't think I've ever been truly surprised like I was today. I have been blessed by some awesome girlfriends. Everywhere I move, God has provided the best of friends. I wish everyone could have been there, but since my friends live all over the country, that wasn't possible. Many took part in it from far away by sending messages that Kelly put in a scrapbook/journal for me and I was blessed by their "presence" in that way. Most of the girls that were there didn't even know each other. Some are neighbors, some are friends through Reese's job, some are internet friends :) And many of them were in cahoots with my sisters to plan this whole thing. How awesome it was to have all these friends from different areas of my life come together.

It has been such a blessing to be pregnant at the EXACT same time as Leah. Same due date, both girls. Can't wait to see these little girls grow together!

And do they know me or what? They had the shower at a tea room! It was very yummy and such a pretty little place!
Thanks girls for a wonderful day.

Our Baby Girl's Room

Well, we finally did it, her room is done. I love it. I've thought about it and planned and brainstormed for about 14 weeks now, since we found out that she is a girl. Finally it all came together and I couldn't be happier with it.
These are just embroidery hoops painted brown with fabric in them. I made a canvas for her, I love the way it turned out, other than the crooked words, lets just say it adds to the whimsical part of the room :) For the flowers I just made them out of fabric and glued them on. I ran across this verse a few times and knew I had to use it over her crib. It means a lot to me and hopefully it will to her too. For me I will look at that every time I lay her down and say to myself "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save." I hope that by reminding myself of that I will continually put my trust in God, the one who ultimately has control over her little life. I know God takes great delight in her and I think that is something every little girl should know, her God delights in her, He rejoices over her with singing. And what mommy doesn't want their baby quieted when it's time to sleep :) He will quiet her with His love.

Some of the vintage pictures I've had hanging in Lane, Case, and now baby girls room. I am going to start looking on Ebay for some vintage hangers to hang a favorite dress or something from the hooks. For now the bottom hook holds her bathrobe and will probably hold her towels for bath time.
That little lamp above the changing table is a fave in this room. I found it at Grandiflora in Lynden while I was there for the summer. It is old, vintagey and sweet. I knew I had to have it when I saw it. The shelf has our wedding pictures in it :) they will be changed when I get to take some pictures of this little pumpkin.
Oh this wall of pictures! I got all the white frames on sale and I will be putting all black and whites in them. For now I just have the one of Case and one of my pregnancy shots in them. I plan to put one of just her, a family picture, and one of Lane and her in the other 3. I used the knobs that I had Case's name letters hanging from.

I wanted this room to be honoring of Case because it was his room, as well as being her room. His sweet smile in that picture just brightens my day. I included some handkerchiefs that have been given to me. The yellow one in the picture is from my dear friend Kristen. It has Lilies of the Valley on it, she told me that they represent new beginnings (this baby), sweetness (Case was the epitome of sweetness), the return to happiness (letting go of bitterness and sadness and allowing myself to remember Case and be able to enjoy life at the same time), and the virgin Mary's tears (we have both cried tears over the death of our sons). Natalie Grant makes reference to Lilies of the Valley in her song Held. There is another white handkerchief hanging from the other side of the shelf. It was given to me at the funeral by one of my mom's cousins, it was my great grandma Lily's.

We are just about ready for her arrival. I think I will be packing the hospital bag next week. Better to be prepared, when my water broke with Case I hadn't packed yet. Whoops. This pregnancy has flown by, I am over 34 weeks. I haven't taken a picture of myself recently. I guess the bigger I get the less motivated I am to take a picture of myself :)

A Sneak Peek

When Reese got home, I got him started on on a few projects, building these chairs and painting the baby's room. Thankfully, I think he enjoyed doing them and it took up some time since right now he's not doing too much at work. So I had found the plans for these adirondack chairs and Reese got to building. He did a great job and I love how they turned out. We got rid of our old patio furniture this year. It was just too big for our patio and getting rusty which is what all metal objects we own have done since we've moved here. My goal is to make our patio like another room. It is so nice here most the year that we really should spend more time out there. I am not done with this space, but we did get an outdoor rug to "define" the space and I got some mums. I am planning on painting the little table at some point, but for now it's a nice place to sit and read, which Reese has been doing a lot of out there. Now onto the baby's room.
This is just a sneak peek, why, because it isn't done :) I've been doing a lot of sewing. I made this ruffle pillow. I LOVE how it turned out and I just might have a ruffly pillow in every room if I don't stop myself.
I bought some curtain panels from Ikea and had to froo-froo them up and what better way than ric rac and ruffles!

This might be one of my favorite projects, the bunting! Those are all the fabrics I am using in the room. When she has a name, I will sew it onto it. Her name will have to be 7 letters or less I guess. I know I am driving some of you crazy (insert evil laugh). We also have a new paint color on the walls that were once white....pink. I am not an all pink kinda girl. I actually try to find baby clothes that aren't pink, but I am really liking the brown, green, and pink theme. It's turning out to be a little vintage and a little whimsical.

The baby's room has been fun to put together and so sad at the same time. It's meant saying goodbye in yet another way and allowing myself to accept what "will be" a little more. It's been a slow process, one that is not done yet, and it's taken a lot of thought and for me, it has brought on a lot of healing. I am looking forward to it being all done and sharing more pictures soon.