"Merry" Christmas

Our Christmas was a good one this year. It is fun to be with family and friends and especially fun to watch Lane and Estelle have so much fun. Estelle mostly loved the attention she got and the wrapping paper and ribbons. Of course Lane had a blast with all his cousins and was excited about all the new toys!

As the time passes, I think more and more of how different Case would be. He would be a big boy now at 2 1/2! I watch my niece Hazel who is only a few months younger and try to imagine what he'd be doing now. I'm reading a book on grieving and tonight I read this poem in it I thought it was very fitting for Christmas night.

"Merry" Christmas

I question if Christmas can ever be merry

Except to the heart of an innocent child

For when time has taught us the meaning of sorrow

And sobered the spirits that once were so wild,

When all the green graves that lie scattered behind us

Like milestones are marking the length of the way

And echoes of voices that no more shall greet us

Have saddened the chimes of the bright Christmas Day

We may not be merry, the long years forbid it,

The tears that have brought us such manifold smarts,

But we may be happy, if only we carry

The Spirit of Christmas deep down in our hearts.

Hence I shall not wish you the old "Merry Christmas"

Since that is of shadowless childhood a part

But one that is holy and happy and peaceful,

The Spirit of Christmas deep down in your heart.

- author anonymous

Whatever you may be struggling with this Christmas it is my prayer that you can carry the true Spirit of Christmas in you heart.

This Christmas...

Christmas has always been a happy time in our house. Our family really likes to decorate and watch Christmas movies, etc. This year I have tried to read more Christmas books to the kids and for the first time I have a nativity set. I got the Little People one, because Estelle really likes Little People. I have been baking a ton, and even having a couple people over for a little Christmas dinner. I do love this season and everything that comes with it, even if it is a little stressful. I am also trying to teach Lane a more and more about what Christmas means. This age is so fun, he just soaks everything up!

A couple nights ago we went to Hotel Del Coronado to go ice skating. Reese and Lane ice skated, Estelle and I watched. It is so beautiful there. They have the hotel all lit up and gorgeous trees decorated perfectly.

Estelle is now 13 months old. She had her 12 month check up last month. She is 23 lbs and almost 30 inches. She is so so funny. She isn't much into walking, she is content to walk along the floor on her knees. I haven't seen a kid do that before, but that is how she gets around a lot of the time. My tree is a mess, Estelle re-decorates it on a daily basis. We also have a train track around the tree that gets torn apart and put back together 100 times a day. The joys of having a 1 year old. It doesn't stop me from having it all out though, she will learn :)

This is also the season that we had Case. From July 31st on I think of what we were doing with him at that time of year. How he was about 4 weeks old when we brought Lane to his first day of Kindergarten. Case was with us when we took a trip to the pumpkin patch. He was a chili pepper for Halloween. We took him up to WA at Thanksgiving and everyone got to meet him. Then there was Christmas time in Washington, his first and only Christmas. And then we took him back to our home and 12 days later he was gone. The last few days I have been overwhelmed with memories of him. A lot of them happy sweet memories of him, but I also have been remembering the painful memories too. The day of his death is so vivid in my mind. I think this time of year will always trigger these memories more than the rest of the year does. I have learned to allow myself to really take them in and work through the pictures in my mind. I read in a book that when a traumatic experience happens, it's like a bomb goes off in your brain, scattering bits and pieces of the experience all through out it. Sometimes those bits and pieces pop up unexpectedly, sometimes you can predict them coming. The important thing for me to do it work through them as they come, in the best way I know how.

This year I look at my two healthy children that we are raising here on this earth and I think of the sweet baby boy that I am loving from here to heaven and I am thankful. I am thankful that God sent his Son, so that we can have HOPE!

A Tale of Getting A Christmas Card Picture

Every year it seems like a struggle to get a good picture for our Christmas card. I could just do one with the kids, but I kind of want to include our whole family because we live away from our family and for them to see a family picture just seems more appropriate. So while our brothers were here visiting, we tried to get a picture. This was the first attempt.

Apparently the sun was a little bright for Lane.
AHHHHH my eyes!
Where did Lane go? Estelle's going to take a little nap.
AHHH my eyes again, and a gust of wind for mommy's hair. Nice.

So we go to a new location where the sun wasn't so bright. Now we are all shadowed.... These are the last couple pictures taken. Reese was getting a little bored with it at this point and decided to make a silly face.

And my favorite, Reese's Zoolander face. I am going to look back at this picture for years to come and laugh! I am happy to report that we did finally get a good picture on a totally different day. But that one will have to wait a little while until I get my cards sent out. Can't ruin the surprise!

Christmas Party

Reese and I had a fun opportunity for a get away last weekend. Reese's work Christmas party was an overnight function up in Laguna Beach. So his parents came down and watched the kids while we had a get away. We even went to the spa! It was fun to get dressed up since I don't get to do that very often and it was fun visiting with all his work buddies and wives.
We really are kind of goofy, no matter how dressed up we are.

Here we are waiting line to see Jim Brown!

Meeting Jim Brown (NFL Hall of Fame) I will be honest and say that I did not know who that was, but Reese did, so that's cool. Apparently he is pretty famous, because every sports fan I know totally knows who he is! He was huge by the way, look at his hand on my shoulder!
And of course we got to hang with Jon Voight. That was pretty exciting. He is a huge supporter of the military so it was great to meet him.

It was a fun night and a good get away for Reese and I without kids. We are also having a winning streak. I won $20 in a raffle drawing at the party, then we were at another party and won a doll for Estelle in a raffle and then today I got a call from Lane's school to let me know that his name was drawn for a $100 gift card to Target that was donated by a local church. I am going to go now, I am going to go find a bunch of giveaway's on blogs and enter!

Tis the Season

For making gingerbread houses!!


Last week we had fun decorating gingerbread houses. I hadn't made one since we lived in Washington and then my sister in law Cortnae made the houses and we just decorated them. So this year, I got the recipe from her and made the gingerbread houses. They worked like a charm and I even was able to make the trees stick together and stand up! Lane had a great time doing it (and eating half the candy) and he made it a competition with Reese. I am definitely going to try to make this a Christmas tradition.

Our Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was a fun one. My brother Matt and Reese's brother Jordan came to visit. Lane was really excited to have his uncles come to visit and Estelle loved all the entertainment she had.

The moose mugs that Reese's mom sent for his birthday (think Christmas Vacation, cousin Eddie)
My picky little eater. Notice the turkey, stuffing, jello salad and roll. That's it. We had so many other yummy things to eat too. But he did enjoy his turkey leg!
My even pickier eater! I am not sure what is going on with Estelle but she doesn't like much. I have been trying to get her to eat all table food but she will not eat any meat. I have tried a lot of different things too. She did eat a little turkey and wild rice soup I made with leftover turkey though. So for now she eats eggs pretty much everyday for protein.
We took the guys out to Point Loma, this is Matt looking out over Mexico. Reese, Lane and Matt got to go golfing one day and Reese and Jordan went out to the sky diving school that Reese went to and Jordan sky dived!
Jordan and the kids

Matt and the kids

The guys even got to take part in our Christmas decorating!

This year I am very thankful for all I have been blessed with. When I asked Lane what he was thankful for he said his home. Lane is pretty aware of people that don't have homes (he sees lots of homeless people around here). And I thought that really summed it up. I am thankful for my home, not just my house but for my home. My home has love in it, it has Jesus in it, and it has my very favorite people in it. Another reason I am thankful for my home right now is that I have memories of Case in this home. But the thing I am most thankful for is my home waiting for me in heaven. I am reminded to set my sights on eternal things, not just things in the world but things that last, the truly important things.

Fun with Family

My sister Lesha and her family came to visit last week. The kids had a great time together, and if was fun hanging out with my sis. The hubby's even went to a Chargers game!

The night the guys were at the football game, we took the kids for a walk down to the bay.

We went to Legoland on Friday.
Daddy got Estelle a princess crown!
Lane loved having his cousins come to visit and I noticed he really liked Brielle and was kind of protective of her :)
I wish I had a picture of the group, I know Lesha got one when we went out to dinner one night. And it was so fun to have them here for Estelle's birthday party!

She's One!

It's hard to believe that Estelle Hope is one year old! The past year has flown by. Estelle is so friendly and smiley. She is always sure to get other peoples attention at restaurants by looking over and smiling at them, until they smile back. She is quite the ham. We had a little party for her yesterday. My sister Lesha and her family came for a visit so we had the party while they were here.
Opening some presents.
Her cookies and cupcakes. She had never had a cupcake before so this was pretty exciting once she figured it out.
Hmmm, what do I do with this?
She ate almost the entire thing! Estelle loved everyone singing happy birthday and watching all the kids around the table was enough entertainment for her.

Estelle has given us so much joy in the past year. Having this little girl is even more fun than we thought it would be. We love you Miss Estelle Hope, and thank God for you everyday!

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

This year Lane has been all about the Halloween decorations! I don't normally do anything, but because he was so in to it, I caved at the last minute and bought a few things. We also made ghosts out of some of his old white t-shirts to hang from the tree.
Lane is holding up an Oregon Ducks "O" in this picture. Quite the football fan!
Over the weekend we made some sugar cookies. Lane cut them out for me and I decorated them, because I am controlling like that. In my defense, I let him decorate one of the spider webs and he did a great job, but then he lost interest.
Yesterday when he got home from school he wanted to color some halloween pages. So we found a few online and printed them out, it kept him busy for a while. He has become a GREAT colorer!
Lane and his buddies Daniel and Seth. This is the only picture of Lane I got in full costume.
My two together. Estelle did so well. We walked for a long time too and she just hung out in the stroller. AND, her duck bill was in her face most of the night and she didn't really complain. :)
Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet.... that is all I heard come out of Lane's mouth for the past week, so I thought it was an appropriate title!

Pumpkin Patchin'

So we hadn't been up to Bate's Nut Farm in two years. Last time we had Case with us. Last year, I just didn't feel up do it, being 4 cm dilated for about 4 weeks, ya know. (TMI) So at the last minute I decided to take Lane out of school early on his birthday and go up there. It takes about an hour. It is always SOOO busy on the weekends, so a Tuesday was the perfect day! The weather was so nice and cool and there was hardly anyone there.
Lane got out of the car, extended his arms out, and said "AHHH, country!" It is out in the "country." Kind of up in the mountains. They have goats, chickens, pigs, ducks, llama's, etc.
Farmer Lane
The hay maze was very fun.
Hay ride! Look at those dark clouds! I loved it!

What a fun place for some pictures. Estelle was all smiles, until she fell in between the pumpkins and got stuck!