Reminders of Him

This past month I've been a little absent on here. We have had family come and visit and we've been enjoying our time we have with Reese. I've had this post in my head for awhile. Just to write it out is healing yet it takes a lot... these pictures are very personal and special to me.

This is the chair in Case's room. I fed him here and did a lot of snuggling with him in this chair. This chair is now a place where every morning I have my coffee and meet God. I pray, I read, I journal. This has been a healing chair for me, one that is full of tears as well as memories.
This is Case's dresser. It is full, full of 6/9 month clothes. The week before he died I had taken out all the 3/6 month clothes and replaced them with these. Some still have the tags on.
These are Case's diapers. Size 3.
The hospital made these tiles for us. I treasure these last footprints and handprint I have of my sweet little guy.
His laundry. I have yet to wash it. It's been such a reminder of how very real and here he was. These were the last clothes he wore, I look at them and remember where we went when he wore them. How do I wash these?
I made this for Case's room last fall. It is Hannah's Prayer. I did pray for Case. We waited so long to have him. He was so welcome in our family, we waited for him and he had made our little family feel complete for the time he was here. God granted what I asked of Him, even though Case was only here for a short time, he blessed us for a lifetime.
I made these letters for Case's room last fall too. I love his name. We had a hard time choosing a name for him, but once he was born he was Case. I never thought twice about his name after he was born and I LOVED his name.

When we were still at the hospital I said to one of the nurses, how am I supposed to go home and see all of his things and go in his room? I was afraid of the emotions that they would bring. I got home and I took comfort in those things. I still take comfort in sitting in his room. I thought it would be a very sad place, that is where I found him. In the weeks after his death I realized that for me that may be a very sad and scary place. That was the most scared and helpless I have ever felt. But I don't need to think of his room that way. For Case, that was the place where he was met and carried into heaven. I don't know if Jesus took him by the hand or if it was an angel, but I do know that it wasn't a scary thing for him. It was peaceful and when he got to heaven there was rejoicing. That is why I take comfort there. I believe that God meets me there everyday, renews my strength, hope and courage to keep going. This is very personal to me, but it is so very real, and that is why I share.