One year ago today our sweet Case celebrated his first day in heaven. I say that because for him it was awesome, he entered eternity, someplace we should all strive for and long to be, because that is our true home. It certainly is where my heart longs to be.
Everyday I wonder how we have gotten through such a year. One year ago I was feeling like I couldn't even fathom how I was supposed to go on with out my sweet little guy. Day by day God proved to be faithful and I got out of bed each day. In a daily devotional I just started reading the author talks about manna. Each day the Israelites waited for God to give them manna from heaven to get through the day. It was their daily bread and without it they wouldn't have survived. The Israelites were not able to store up the manna, it was new and given to them everyday. I realized that that is how I got through this past year. Each day God gave me what I needed to get through that day. No more, no less, just what I needed. I couldn't store it up for the next day, I needed to ask Him and come to Him each day to be refreshed and renewed. Sometimes throughout the year I have tried to just use what I got yesterday by not praying or looking to God, but those days I wasn't fully equipped and I struggled more. So this year, I will remember the manna that God provided the Israelites in the form of food and me in the form of his Word and the truths he reveals to me through his Word.
We are missing Case so much. It continually breaks my heart that I don't get to see him grow. What a sweet, precious little guy he was. He was so funny and so loved by our family. We needed him and God gave him to us even if his life here on earth was short, he lives on in our hearts forever. What a gift Case is.
Last month Reese told me that he would be gone this week. He was going on a training trip just a few hours away. I thought of course it would be that week of all weeks! So my friend Lindsey flew down from Washington to be with us. I know all my friends and family would like to be with us today if they could, and we were blessed that Lindsey was actually able to make it work. Well last night while we were eating dinner, the garage door opens and in comes Reese. He was able to leave early. What a blessing and now we will be able to spend today together. Thanks for everyone's prayers and support this past year. I am praying that this year will continue to bring hope and healing.
11 comments:
Natasha I will never forget this day my heart breaks for all of you everytime I think about. Case was such a special boy and will always have a special place in my heart. Love you guys and I am glad you have Resse and Lindsey with you this week.
Yes, what a gift Case IS!! His life continues to teach and inspire. His contagious smile simultaneously brightens my day and breaks my heart. His big, bright eyes seem to know so much. They truly appear to be the windows to a deep, loving and kind soul. I can't even imagine what amazing and glorious things those eyes are seeing right now. To think that those eyes have actually seen Jesus takes my breath away. Those eyes also belong to the first grandchild to see in person how beautiful his Grandma Karen is.
Thank you for opening up your world to us. Thank you for using your gift of writing to share your son and your heart with us. Thank you for the way you express both the joy and the pain of your journey. Thank you for continually pointing us to Jesus and reminding us of the source of your strength and hope.
"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Weeping, they make it a place of springs...They go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion." Psalm 84:5-7
You have set your heart on pilgrimage, and even as you pass through your Valley of Weeping, I have seen God graciously give you your daily allotment of strength and mercy. I have seen God's power be made perfect in your weakness. I have seen God's blessing on your life and how you have then blessed others. I don't know how you have lived one year without that precious baby boy. But you have. One day at a time, with the help of God, you have done the impossible.
You are amazing. You inspire me. I love you.
in our thoughts and prayers...
I woke up thinking about your family, especially that sweet baby Case. I'm so glad Reese is home - we are praying for you guys and remembering the time we got to spend with your wonderful gift, Case.
This day has been on mind, I can't even imagine how you have been preparing for it. Another beautiful post Natasha, and what a gift that sweet baby boy is. Prayers to you and your family today and always.
case is such a gift to you an dyour family. I think of you often. I lift you up in prayer. Your post are inspiring , Give us this day our Daily bread is something I try to live by too..I was excited to read that Reese was able to be with you.
Keeping you close in prayer today--thank you for sharing about your sweet boy. What a true blessing from God. This post was what I needed to hear today, even though it brought many tears. Your words are truly heartfelt and so genuine. You're in our hearts!
I've been thinking of you all day today. My heart breaks for you as I can not even begin to imagine how this past year has been. I really have no words other than you have been in my prayers and thoughts everyday this past year and you will continue to be in the days and years that lie ahead. Time may go on but your love and loss will always remain and Case will forever be in your heart. Love to you!
I can hear Case's laugh and miss that sound. I can't imagine how much you long for his smile, his laughter, the feel of him.
His life continues to inspire me -- it makes me want to embrace God's gifts - especially our children. You are so brave. Looking to God each day for that daily bread! Oh, what a tough year. And Case will always be missed, but God will always provide you what you need to get through the days. I love you.
What a year you had. What a huge loss you suffer, but continue to keep looking in the right direction. I am so proud of you. I can't imagine what a hole this has put in your heart.
The picture of him giggling is so sweet. Such a little sweetie pie.....love that little guy. His chubby cheeks, his shining blue eyes. I cry and can't imagine the strong yearning you have to hold him again.
I was at Grandma's tonight and she was talking about a song that was sang at Lauries funeral. I found the lyrics on line. We were thinking of you especially today, but we always do.
Until Then
(Stuart Hamblen)
My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a path that's winding always upward
This troubled world is not my final home.
But until then my heart will go on singing
Until then with joy I'll carry on
Until the day my eyes behold my Saviour
Until the day God calls me home.
--- Instrumental ---
The things of earth will dim and lose their value
If we recall they're borrowed for a while
And things of earth that cause this heart to tremble
Remember there will only bring a smile.
But until then my heart will go on singing
Until then with joy I'll carry on
Until the day my eyes behold my Saviour
Until the day God calls me home...
Tasha- I have been thinking about your family so much lately. You are in our thoughts and prayers continually... Psalm 62 ... This is what our family continues to go to when we think of Jessica, I hope it is as reassuring and refreshing to you as it is for us.
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