Case's 2nd Birthday

We made cupcakes for Case's birthday again this year. It was wonderful to have Reese with us to do it this year too. We sang happy birthday and blew out his candles for him. Lane loves this part. I will do this every year, to recognize Case as a part of our family, our son and the kid's brother. I look forward to the coming years when we can talk to Estelle and any other children we might have about Case while we have his birthday cupcakes.

Silly boy Lane blowing out the candle.

We got back from being in Ketchikan AK last night. We have been there twice before with my sister Michele and her family and when we found out we had the opportunity to go again, Reese jumped on the chance to go. For Reese and Lane this is the perfect trip, a cabin on a lake, fishing, hiking, all those outdoorsy things. For me it's a chance to relax and enjoy the beauty of Alaska, and hang out with Michele. The only problem was, it is no place for a crawling baby. So I told Reese I didn't think we could go. Then my great friend Kristen, insisted that she watch Estelle for 5 days while we go. I didn't think I could do it. I did it, and Estelle did awesome! I will share more about the trip soon.

So on the morning of Case's 2nd birthday, I left Estelle for the first time overnight, for five nights! We got up to the cabin in the evening. Ever since I watched the movie Tangled, I wanted to do the Chinese Wish Lanterns for Case's birthday. Alaska was the perfect place to do it, over the lake and no fire danger (like in S. California). We let two of them go, they were so beautiful!

There are so many things I have in my head that I want to say about Case. How much I miss him, how much we have missed in the last 18 months. Crawling, walking, talking, being a little stinker, I grieve that I can't see Case doing those things. All the things that I am watching Estelle doing now, I realize again that I didn't get to see Case doing that.

Sometimes I think that my grieving is a selfish thing, all the things that I've missed. Then I feel bad for Case, like I've made it all about me. It's a very strange thing. But Case is in heaven and he doesn't need all the things that this world gives us anymore, he is in perfect peace.

Alaska gave me a little taste of that peace. God uses nature to speak to us, we just need to choose to see it and listen. Where we stayed is very untouched, nothing but a few cabins and a whole lot of quiet, peaceful nature. Nature screams at you there. The last couple times when we went, it was while we were living in Washington, in the country. This time, coming from the city, it spoke to me more, or maybe I've just become more willing to listen. I haven't had a lot of peace lately, I haven't been inspired to write or read my bible or pray. I have been empty, felt alone. Being in Alaska gave me inspiration. I was able to step back and think, Estelle didn't need me so I was free to do that with little interruption. While we were there, I was reading a book when this verse spoke to me.

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you.
Which of all these does not know
that the hand of the LORD has done this?
In his hand is the life of every creature
and the breath of all mankind."

Job 12: 7-10

The Lord has it all in his hand, it is hard for me to look at the beauty of nature and think any differently. We were certainly blessed by this trip, and by Kristen for watching Estelle.

Happy Birthday sweet Case. I can't wait to hold you again someday.

Tasty Tuesday (on Wednesday)

Since I can't seem to consistently keep up on the menu thing, I thought I'd try to do Tasty Tuesday. Some other blogs do this and I might link up to one at some point. So my plan was to start this week, well one day late....here it is.

I made this tart last week. It is so yummy! The crust is cornmeal crust which is such a nice change from a normal crust. I halved the recipe and just made the tart a little smaller. The crust would be great with apples, pears, peaches, any kind of berry, and I want to try it with rhubarb too.

Blueberry-Blackberry Rustic Tart

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup yellow cornmeal
• 2/3 cup cold butter
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 
  FILLING:
• 4 cups fresh blueberries
• 2 cups fresh blackberries
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1 egg, beaten
• 2 tablespoons turbinado (washed raw) sugar or coarse sugar
• Whipped cream, optional

Directions

• In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar and cornmeal; cut in butter until crumbly. Gradually add buttermilk, tossing with a fork until dough forms a ball. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.
• On a lightly floured surface, roll dough into a 14-in. circle. Transfer to a parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
• In a large bowl, combine the berries, sugar, flour and lemon juice; spoon over the pastry to within 2 in. of edges. Fold up edges of pastry over filling, leaving center uncovered. Brush folded pastry with egg; sprinkle with sugar.
• Bake at 375° for 55-60 minutes or until crust is golden brown and filling is bubbly. Using the parchment paper, slide tart onto a wire rack to cool. Serve with whipped cream if desired. Yield: 8 servings.

Recipe Courtesy of Taste of Home

Hope everyone is having a great week. We are enjoying some down time before some adventures in the next week!!

Just Hanging Out

We have been enjoying our summer, we have mainly just been hanging out the past few weeks. Lane enjoys being out of school, lately he's been playing a lot of army guys etc. He has such great imagination. I have been enjoying Estelle being on a schedule...finally! Since we got back from Washington, she has slowly started sleeping through the night more consistently and napping regularly during the day. Estelle is an early riser though, yesterday she was up around 5:00!

I haven't been blogging much obviously. I really have been needing to focus on Estelle and trying to catch up on some stuff here. I just haven't been motivated. I love these lazy days during the summer when we just hang out at home and really have no place to be. Lane has been taking swimming lessons last week and this week. It has been fun watching him learn ALOT this time! And he is enjoying it, last time (2 years ago) it was like pulling teeth to get him to go.

Last weekend Reese and Lane camped out in the patio. After I put Estelle to bed I went in there and played games with them. Then when it was time for bed, I went upstairs and slept in my comfy bed while the boys slept in the tent :)

Lane didn't want his picture taken, and Reese has probably had enough :)
The next morning... Lane slept in.
And we have a crawler in the house. Estelle has been able to get around for awhile now, but on July 13th (her 8 month birthday) she started crawling "the right way." She can really get around. On the mornings that she is up so early I have been bringing her down to the living room, she explores the room while I lay on the couch. One of her favorite things to do lately is "boing" the door stops on the floor boards. I really have to watch her. She loves everything that she shouldn't touch. The stereo, plastic bags, cords, little "chokables." I haven't had to really have a baby proof house for a while now, so I am needing to be more aware. Legos now stay in Lane's room. He has always loved to bring the toys he wants to play with into the living room, that is now changing. He just loves Estelle though and he just laughs if she messes up his stuff.

This summer I have needed to focus on myself and what my family needs. I have needed to say no to things just because being gone too much just doesn't work for our family. I have kept things simple and I like it that way. It has given me time to reflect more, when I am constantly busy, I don't give myself time to really think about things. Because of this I have been feeling better and more energized.

The 4th of July and More

Estelle swimming at her first pool party! July 3rd.
We went to the local 4th of July parade on Monday.

My favorite part was the Iwojima float.
Yesterday we had a fun BBQ at our house with some great friends. Lane and Charlie had fun outside as did all the kids. Estelle loves to sit outside. I was able to get a lot done and visit with friends while she was content outside. Yippee for me!
Little Miss Blueberry Eyes :)

A Visit to Washington

The kids and I took a 2 week trip up to Washington on June 12th. Reese was going to be gone for a few weeks so we headed up to spend some time with friends and family. We stayed at my dad's for the first week, then we went to Crescent Bar with my family for a couple nights, Vance and Michele's for a couple nights, and then stayed at Reese's parents for a few nights. It was fun, busy, and to be honest, stressful! Estelle did not sleep well. By the end of the trip she was waking up at all hours of the night and sleeping in bed with me! I knew it would be hard, but Lane so loves going up there and I wanted to spend some time up there.

We got to be there for Amara's 5th birthday and Grandma Laura's birthday too. Lane loves being in the "country." He always gets all scraped up while we are up there, lots of outdoor playing.

I didn't get many pictures. I wish I had taken more, but Estelle in one hand and a camera in my other isn't always possible. I love this little girl to pieces, but man, she wears me out. She is so sweet, cuddly and smily, but she doesn't sleep well and she LOVES her mama. This makes for not too many breaks for me. I just have to keep remembering that this time doesn't last too long, and someday I will look back on it and miss these days.

The boys swimming in the creek by Vance and Michele's house.
Will, Merit, and Lane...I hardly saw Lane while we were there, he was busy playing outside with these boys.

There was a lot of baseball playing at Crescent Bar.

Brielle pushing Hazel in the swing.

Me and my sista's!
The three oldest boys. These boys have had so much fun over the years, they are 8, 7, and 6 and all are left handed (just a fun little fact!)
Estelle was all smiles, especially when she was being held and getting attention :)
Great Grandma Alma and Estelle.

We got to meet our newest cousin Abby. Estelle wanted to grab her. They are about 3 months apart.

We had a hot dog roast in Grandpa Jim's firepit one night. Lane decided to invent a cannon to shoot off of his patio that night, he so many big ideas!

Lane and his beloved Red Ryder BB gun. That night some one was cutting my dad's field, I loved hearing the tractor running late at night and the smell in the air. Those are things I miss about living in Washington.

We also got to spend a lot of time with my dear friends that have been my friends since middle school. We have 11 kids between us I think. These are just a few of the kids Emmy, Gabe, Estelle and Gracie.

Over the Years

Last week Thursday, Reese and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Normally, 10 years is a great milestone, but for me it felt like a huge accomplishment. Our marriage started out with Reese just finishing Marine Corps boot camp and me grieving the death of my mom just 2 months earlier. We were just 19 and we started out with some big "things" and it didn't stop there. We got married June 2, 2001 during peace time. Then came September 11th, we had no idea what that meant for Reese, for us. We went through an 11 month deployment to Japan and another 7 month deployment to Iraq while I was pregnant with Lane. From there we moved to Sumas, WA for three years before Reese went into the Navy. I must say that our marriage has been given many challenges. Being in the military is hard, the divorce rate is huge, especially in Reese's line of work. We have been separated a good part of the last 10 years. We joke that that is the reason we are still married :) We went through another deployment last year while I was pregnant with Estelle.

We have been blessed with three wonderful children. But the loss of Case has been so hard on us, on our family. We will forever be missing a part of our family.

I wanted to post pictures of us over the years. Mainly for me to have them all in one place, but also because I am proud to have reached this 10 year accomplishment together. The odds have been against us, but we have made it through and plan to continue.

2003 was the year I got a digital camera, so the rest of the pictures start there :)

Twenty Nine Palms, June 2003
Joshua Tree National Park June 2003
Old Town San Diego, January 2004
Welcoming Reese home from Iraq, September 2004
A trip to San Diego for a Marine Corps memorial service April 2006. This was the trip that got Reese thinking about the Navy.
Alaska 2006
Alaska 2007
San Diego, after finishing Hell Week, April 2008
San Diego, July 4, 2008

Graduation 2009, pregnant with Case

December 2009

Welcoming Reese home from Iraq again, pregnant with Estelle, September 2010

April 2011

Disneyland

Over the weekend we made a last minute trip to Disneyland. We had one day left on our three day hoppers. We got our picture with Mickey and all Estelle wanted to do was grab his face!
We stayed at the Grand California Hotel. It was awesome! We have never splurged to stay at one of the resort hotels, but they had availability at the last minute and so we did it. The bonus was that they had our room ready at like 9 am when we arrived so we didn't have to wait until 3 pm to check in. We spent the morning in the parks and then around 2:00 pm we went and hung out at the pool. Lane loved the water slide and the pool was so warm. Estelle loves splashing in it.
We had gumbo for lunch and then we had Creole food for dinner at a cool restaurant in Downtown Disney.
Then next morning we got up early and did the Critter breakfast at the hotel. So we dined with Chip and Dale, and some other forest creatures. Estelle thought they were cool, not afraid at all, mainly she just wanted to grab them.

Lane and Dale had the same teeth!
The hotel was beautiful and I loved that it was so close to the parks and Downtown Disney. Lane really loved the bunk beds and was so excited to sleep on the top bunk.

Downtown Disney has a Lego store. They were building a giant R2-D2 out front so Lane built some pieces for it and got certificate.
We ended the trip with some awesome pizza and headed home, where we all took naps (except Lane he watched a movie) We love being so close to all these theme parks. Lane is one lucky kid, I didn't go to Disneyland until I was 17!