This Past Year

 Ingrid Faith

 1 month

 2 months

 3 months

 4 months

 5 months

 6 months

 7 months

 8 months

 9 months

 10 months

 11 months

Almost 1 year old

I have recently reflected on this past year since Ingrid is turning one.  This girl has been such a light in my life.  A light I've needed during some very dark moments.  When I found out I was in heart failure 2 months after she was born, of course it runs through everyone's mind, although I know they wouldn't ever say it to me, what if she would've never gotten pregnant to begin with?  Would she not have heart failure?  Of course that ran through my mind, you always go back and question things like that.  That would last a split second until I looked at Ingrid and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is meant for great things and that she is here for a divine reason.

 I shared my story with my MOPS group in March and I went over a timeline of the past 15 years of my life and how I had seen God work in my life. While I was preparing for it, I reflected on events that had taken place, the decisions I made and what came from those decisions.  It is interesting how when we take time to reflect we are able to see God's hand at work.  And yet we still worry and fret over every little thing today, when we know He always has and always will have it under control.  

When we made the decision to have Ingrid I had some major reservations for the 4-5 months leading up to it.  We had 3 months to try because I knew I needed to go to WA to have her and that needed to be during the summer so Lane wouldn't miss school.  One month before we needed to try a calm washed over me and I knew we needed to do it and I had a peace that if it didn't work that I'd be content with just having 2 kids here on earth.  My cardiologist was more than supportive and he sat in the room and talked with me about it well past the time the clinic closed and I walked out while the janitor was vacuuming the waiting room floor.  I was ready.  

Fast forward to November 2013, we had just had Estelle's birthday party here.  Everyone had left and I just told Reese that I was going to test early.  I ran to the store got a test and it came back positive.  I cried.  Reese asked me if I was crying because I was happy or sad.  I said I didn't know, I was scared but I also knew that it was the right thing.  

My pregnancy went well, I scared some doctors around here because I have an ICD and I was pregnant, but they soon figured out that I was healthy and doing well.  No complications and I left at the end of June at 36 weeks for Bellingham.  I saw a cardiologist in Bellingham as a precaution, he said I looked great. I was induced on my due date and a few hours later Ingrid was born.  I had a totally natural birth and I must say I rocked that labor and delivery like I never had before :)  Ingrid was perfect and I knew she completed our family.  And then 2 months later I find out I am in heart failure.

Ingrid has brought so much joy to our family.  She was motivation for me.  I had to get better, I needed to watch her grow.  In the beginning I really didn't know how it would all turn out.  I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I had fear that I wouldn't see my girls graduate or be able to see my grand kids.  I know none of have that guarantee but it was a real fear for me.  But over time my mind calmed down, my cardiologists were confident and God gave me peace that it would all work out according to plan, just as it always does.  I would hold Ingrid a little longer than I needed to after she fell asleep.  I always fed her bottles and cuddled her instead of ever propping them. She is almost one and I still snuggle and feed her.  I held her just a little tighter and God used her to comfort me.  She rolled with everything.  I had to quite nursing over night because of all the medications I had to start and she just started drinking formula like nothing ever changed.  She slept well so that I could sleep well and she's always had the biggest smile that could take all my sadness away.

The past year has held fear, sadness, confusion and it's been hard on our family and marriage, but it has also held greater joy and greater celebrations.  I had to resist bursting into tears and high fiving the doctor at my appointment in March when I found out I was up to 40-45%.  My "over saddened" self also wanted to "over celebrate" my victories.  I recently told someone that I've taken on the Y.O.L.O. (you only live once) attitude... I was being silly, but seriously... I kinda have.  

I am thankful for the growth that has taken place, for the healing, and most of all, I am thankful for my munchkins here on earth and in heaven.  And how God had a plan with bringing Ingrid into our family and as we watch her grow through the years I know that will become more and more evident.

Ingrid 10 and 11 months

 How is this girl almost ONE?!!  These last 6 months have flown by and Ingrid as developed such a great personality.  She smiles huge, laughs a lot and makes some really weird faces.  She has got her two top teeth now and the two side ones are about to pop through.  Her hair is really starting to curl up in the back.  I am going to be amazed if I have two curly haired girls!

 Soooo big is still a favorite!

 Blowing kisses and waving bye bye or night night are a couple of her new tricks.  We had some really warm days in mid June so I got to break out Estelle's hand me downs from Southern CA!

 Ingrid doesn't really crawl the traditional way, but she can really move now.  She sits on her butt and scoots along with her legs and arms.  She pulls up on everything and things she's pretty fancy when she stands up at the coffee table or in the bathtub!

See my teeth!!!

Griswold Strikes Again: Alaska Style

Last week we boarded a ferry and headed to the mainland.  I had a cardiologist appointment in Anchorage, so we thought we'd make a trip out of it.  We'd never taken the ferry as a family so we thought that'd be an adventure.  The trip to Homer took about 14 hours because we had two stops to make on the way.  So we loaded up into the old explorer and headed out.  

The kids had fun on the ferry and there were some beautiful views!  It was HOT and our little cabin inside was roasting.

The Russian Orthodox Church settled many parts around here and this little church was at our stop in Ouszinkie.  

I am so glad that we brought the playpen!  We popped that right in the middle of the bunks and Ingrid could play in there.  Sleeping was a different story though.  By the morning my back was killing me from wrestling with Ingrid during the night and sleeping on that terrible bunk.  But it was an adventure... right?!

We got into Homer at 7:45 am and took the 3 1/2 hour drive up to Anchorage. We got to see one of Lane's friends who is spending the summer in Soldotna, so Lane was excited about that!  Then we stopped in Girdwood and hiked a cool little trail that Reese and Lane did last summer but I had just had Ingrid so me and the girls stayed behind.  It's a 1 mile trail to this hand tram that goes over a gorge.  You get in a cart and pull yourself across the gorge over a big creek/river.  Lane and I did it this time while Reese watched with the girls.  It was really fun and just like most things in Alaska, beautiful.

We headed to Anchorage and stayed at a fun hotel with a pool.  Ingrid loves swimming!  Lane got to do the batting cages in town, they saw a couple movies, I got to shop, and we ate at our favorite restaurants.  Ingrid slept great there because we had a two room suite so she had her own space. I had my cardiologist appointment on the 17th. I am so so grateful at the healing that has taken place.  I want to go into that in another post.  But... I continue to improve!  Last October my heart function was 10-15% and last week it was 45%.  My heart has gotten smaller (that's a good thing!) and best of all, I feel good!  Praise God!  So she'll see me again in December!  That appointment was out of the way and I went on enjoying my vacation!  That afternoon we went car shopping and eventually bought a car and so now we had two cars that we need to bring back home.

I was on the way back to hotel with the kids while Reese was finishing up the car deal and that is when the trip turned Griswold (as in Chevy Chase's Vacation movies...).  We've had a Griswold family vacation once before.  Back in Christmas 2008 when a freak snow storm hit CA and it snowed our entire drive from Southern Ca up to Northwest WA, whiteout conditions, closed highways, no hotel rooms, frozen doors, a sheet of ice smashing into our cars...  Here's the link to a little of that story.  Griswold Number One. 

I was driving through Anchorage when I got a call.  It was the Alaska Ferry calling to tell me that my June 21st Ferry had been cancelled.... but never fear they rebooked us for the July 8th sailing (2 1/2 weeks away...).  WHAT!!!  We live on an island in the Aleutian chain people, we can't just drive back home!  I was super nice to the poor man on the other end of the line (note my sarcastic tone).  I pulled into a parking lot, got off the phone with him and called Reese.  By this time both Lane and Estelle were crying and Estelle exclaims "We are TRAPPED!"  I say to Reese, "Cancel the whole car thing! We can't even take the car back!"  After a few choice words, Reese calmed down too and always being the voice of reason, said, "Just calm down, I'll get back to the hotel and we'll figure it out." I made a couple phone calls trying to figure out some options.  I had a couple people who me and the kids could possibly stay with etc.  The next day was spent making lots phone calls.  We finally decided to park the cars in Homer with a transfer company who will store and load our cars on the ferry on July 8th and we bought plane tickets to fly home.  We still had plans to drive up to Denali National Park... but the wild fires were posing a risk.  I was afraid we would get up there and then they'd shut the highway down and we'd be stuck... because you that's kinda how the trip was going.  But we decided to go for it, cause that's how we roll.

Here is a good action shot of what was going on on the side of the highway. That wildfire was burning 650,000 acres.  But a pilot car brought us through and we arrived safely in Denali National Park.

It was totally not what we expected!  Really pretty and we stayed at a place called The Crows Nest.  It was a cute little cabin.  Ingrid didn't go to sleep real well.  I had to put her in her car seat in the car for awhile so she'd fall asleep and then carry her to the cabin!

 My three cuties by the park visitor's center

 Mt McKinley!  We were able to see it on the way in.  I heard that it's like a 50/50 chance that it's clouded over and you can't see it at all.

 We went on a little trail and saw one of the forest service cabins that the park rangers use during the winters while patrolling the park.  We were only there for a really short amount of time, but I am so glad that we saw that park.  The views were spectacular!!

The day before we flew home we had to drive from Denali to Homer which ended up being a 12 hour day in the car.

 It started out looking like this....

 And ended up like this.  Her brain hurt...her words.  Ingrid did beautifully though.  Why? Because she is a wonderfully laid back baby and she had her big sister to entertain her!

We spent the last night at a quaint old house turned hotel over looking the beach in Homer.  But, old house equals thin walls, which meant Ingrid couldn't cry it out in the playpen.  So Reese got to drive her around that night! 

We are back home... without cars.  Reese has a truck that seats three.  He's borrowed a car from work that we can all fit in, but I'm not allowed to drive it, so he is shuttling us around for the next two weeks which means I've got lots of time at home!  I've organized the playroom, our storage closet and my dining room hutch so far this week!  These Griswold Family Vacations!!  Wouldn't trade these memories for the world!

Summer is Here!

 We've had some really nice weather here the last couple weeks, mixed in with some nasty rainy days like today.  There are some really fun places to hike around and beautiful beaches here.  So I'm trying to take advantage while we are here.  Copper loves to come along and swim whenever he gets the opportunity, he's swimming in the above picture.  This park is really close to our house.  A lake and also an ocean with some great trails and WWII history in there too.

Tide pools!  I love seeing what kinda creatures we can find.  An anemone and a large star fish!  Estelle got totally freaked out by them though.  Of course...

 Ingrid and I do exist, I hardly have any pictures of us though.  She fell asleep in the ergo that day.  She is a go with the flow baby, yay!!

 This trail is in the woods next to our house.  Lane explores out there but I had never gone out there before.  This net is cool to climb on and the forest is amazing!

Check out the moss covering the ground!  There were places where it was totally carpeted with moss!

 And these cliffs!  Lane climbed up them of course.  If you click on the picture you can see him up there :)

 Last weekend it was super hot and Reese was working so I took all the kids and Copper to the beach.  Estelle found a ton of beach glass and Lane explored.  Copper found a couple other labs to play with, which left me in charge of Ingrid and keeping the rocks out of her mouth.

 My fear of bears has gotten less and less.  I think having a dog with me on these trails helps.  Not to mention I've lived here 2 1/2 years and I haven't run into one.  So although I was uber cautious while I was walking the 1/2 mile long trail down to the beach alone with my kids... I did it.  And it was well worth it!  Looking forward to being able to go on some more adventures this summer!

Blog Contribution

I am very excited to be a blog contributor on Better Business Babe!  BBB is a online community of women who offer support in lifestyle, balance and business. My friend Andrea founded the BBB and recently asked me to contribute through writing on the blog.  My first post is "I Want to THRIVE, Not Just Survive."  I love having the opportunity to reach a whole group of people who wouldn't otherwise read my blog.  The link is here (the title below) and I am posting it in the side bar as well.  Go check it out!

I Want to THRIVE, Not Just Survive

Ingrid 9 months

 Oh Ingrid!  Her smile is contagious.  She is over 9 1/2 months old now.  We went to the doctor and she weighed 20 lbs 11 oz and was 29 1/4 inches tall.  She is a tall girl, between 90-95 percentile and weight is in the 85th or so.  She loves to eat whatever I put on her tray. I started out with baby food and I made about all of it and she loved it all.  Then I got lazy a couple weeks ago and just started giving her finger food and stuff that we were eating (with in reason).  I read a little bit about baby led feeding (weaning) and decided to just go for it.  She's doing really well with it, she loves little bits of meat, potatoes, cheese, peas, pretty much all fruits and veggies. that we've tried. I love watching her shovel it in her mouth :)  She has developed some more sounds now, ma ma and na na are now part of her vocab.  And she loves to making the rolling rrrrrr (think spanish speaker) noise with her tongue.   Maybe I should jump on teaching her spanish....

 Whoo hoo I'm 9 months old!!!

 Still just 2 little sponge bob teeth in there.  I think she's working on more though.  She is a great sleeper most nights but recent night wakings have made me think she's teething again.