Case at 2 months from Natasha on Vimeo.
I debated whether to post this video. It is so special to me. After Case died I ran across this video when we were going through pictures for his funeral. Our little conversation was so special. When I took the video 3 1/2 months earlier, I thought it was sweet and what a cutie he was. After his death I realized how meaningful this video is. I guess the reason why I debated posting this was because it is so special to me and part of me just wanted to keep it to myself. It was just me and Case in the living room after Lane had gone to bed. He had just started really cooing and talking to me. Estelle is at that age now. It is just the best when they start talking and smiling at you. I decided to share it because it shows our love for each other. Also, I know many people who read my blog never got the opportunity to meet Case and I think this is a little glimpse of his sweet spirit.
This week I have been thinking about last year at this time. I relive the day he died in my head on a regular basis, but I've been thinking about the following week or two. The funeral arrangements, the call from the medical examiner telling me that it was SIDS and that there was nothing I could have done, the people coming to the house, picking out the clothes to put him in, the flight up to Washington. I have to say the worst part was deciding where to bury him, that was my breaking point, I didn't want the words to leave my mouth, then it would be real. It is hard to think about, but I have to, I have to allow my mind to go through it all. I've had a lot of distractions this week. Lindsey was here, Reese came home, now my brother Matt is here. But it's good for me to have a little time to myself. It allows me to really think, to work through it and as painful as it can be, it is healing.
9 comments:
This is so special thank you for sharing!
I found you on Tara's blog and thought your story was so special and inspiring I decided to start following. This is so beautiful and special. Thank you for sharing that. I watched it with my (8mo. old) daughter and she sat there smiling and talking to him the whole time. You are such an amazingly strong person. I cannot fathom going through the pain of losing a child. Everytime I read one of your posts I go and have cuddle time with my baby. Makes you realize how precious life is.
His sweetness and your love shows so brightly. Thank you for sharing with all of us - you are so brave, Natasha.
With tears streaming down my face I say thanks for sharing that special moment between you and your precious little boy. He sure was telling you a story and flashing you some grins. What a great love and bond already between a mother and her son.
What a sweet baby. I'm sure you must be so sad that you never get to hear that voice again, but just imagine how lucky someone is in Heaven to be hearing him. Maybe your mom or mine, or many others.
Thank you for sharing that precious video. What a handsome and sweet little man. Amazing how big of a blessing a picture/video can be.♥
This is such a precious video. Thank you so much for sharing this! love, kelly
This video is so, so precious. Case had the sweetest personality and was so happy. Leah wrote that your love, Natasha, shows so brightly here. I couldn't agree more.
So precious! Thanks for sharing.
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