35 1/2 weeks and SURPRISE!!

This is me, 35 1/2 weeks. It's been awhile since I've taken a picture and I am asking this little girl "How LOW can you go?" We have a busy next week. I have a doctor appt on Monday, we'll see how close we are then I guess. This time has flown by, I am excited, nervous, but excited. The anxiety has not been bad, not sure why, I think God has given me peace. I don't know how I will be once she is born, but I just pray for more peace as I take one day at a time.
Today I was surprised by a WONDERFUL group of women who I am so blessed to call my friends. They had a baby shower for me and actually pulled off a surprise one! I don't think I've ever been truly surprised like I was today. I have been blessed by some awesome girlfriends. Everywhere I move, God has provided the best of friends. I wish everyone could have been there, but since my friends live all over the country, that wasn't possible. Many took part in it from far away by sending messages that Kelly put in a scrapbook/journal for me and I was blessed by their "presence" in that way. Most of the girls that were there didn't even know each other. Some are neighbors, some are friends through Reese's job, some are internet friends :) And many of them were in cahoots with my sisters to plan this whole thing. How awesome it was to have all these friends from different areas of my life come together.

It has been such a blessing to be pregnant at the EXACT same time as Leah. Same due date, both girls. Can't wait to see these little girls grow together!

And do they know me or what? They had the shower at a tea room! It was very yummy and such a pretty little place!
Thanks girls for a wonderful day.

Our Baby Girl's Room

Well, we finally did it, her room is done. I love it. I've thought about it and planned and brainstormed for about 14 weeks now, since we found out that she is a girl. Finally it all came together and I couldn't be happier with it.
These are just embroidery hoops painted brown with fabric in them. I made a canvas for her, I love the way it turned out, other than the crooked words, lets just say it adds to the whimsical part of the room :) For the flowers I just made them out of fabric and glued them on. I ran across this verse a few times and knew I had to use it over her crib. It means a lot to me and hopefully it will to her too. For me I will look at that every time I lay her down and say to myself "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save." I hope that by reminding myself of that I will continually put my trust in God, the one who ultimately has control over her little life. I know God takes great delight in her and I think that is something every little girl should know, her God delights in her, He rejoices over her with singing. And what mommy doesn't want their baby quieted when it's time to sleep :) He will quiet her with His love.

Some of the vintage pictures I've had hanging in Lane, Case, and now baby girls room. I am going to start looking on Ebay for some vintage hangers to hang a favorite dress or something from the hooks. For now the bottom hook holds her bathrobe and will probably hold her towels for bath time.
That little lamp above the changing table is a fave in this room. I found it at Grandiflora in Lynden while I was there for the summer. It is old, vintagey and sweet. I knew I had to have it when I saw it. The shelf has our wedding pictures in it :) they will be changed when I get to take some pictures of this little pumpkin.
Oh this wall of pictures! I got all the white frames on sale and I will be putting all black and whites in them. For now I just have the one of Case and one of my pregnancy shots in them. I plan to put one of just her, a family picture, and one of Lane and her in the other 3. I used the knobs that I had Case's name letters hanging from.

I wanted this room to be honoring of Case because it was his room, as well as being her room. His sweet smile in that picture just brightens my day. I included some handkerchiefs that have been given to me. The yellow one in the picture is from my dear friend Kristen. It has Lilies of the Valley on it, she told me that they represent new beginnings (this baby), sweetness (Case was the epitome of sweetness), the return to happiness (letting go of bitterness and sadness and allowing myself to remember Case and be able to enjoy life at the same time), and the virgin Mary's tears (we have both cried tears over the death of our sons). Natalie Grant makes reference to Lilies of the Valley in her song Held. There is another white handkerchief hanging from the other side of the shelf. It was given to me at the funeral by one of my mom's cousins, it was my great grandma Lily's.

We are just about ready for her arrival. I think I will be packing the hospital bag next week. Better to be prepared, when my water broke with Case I hadn't packed yet. Whoops. This pregnancy has flown by, I am over 34 weeks. I haven't taken a picture of myself recently. I guess the bigger I get the less motivated I am to take a picture of myself :)

A Sneak Peek

When Reese got home, I got him started on on a few projects, building these chairs and painting the baby's room. Thankfully, I think he enjoyed doing them and it took up some time since right now he's not doing too much at work. So I had found the plans for these adirondack chairs and Reese got to building. He did a great job and I love how they turned out. We got rid of our old patio furniture this year. It was just too big for our patio and getting rusty which is what all metal objects we own have done since we've moved here. My goal is to make our patio like another room. It is so nice here most the year that we really should spend more time out there. I am not done with this space, but we did get an outdoor rug to "define" the space and I got some mums. I am planning on painting the little table at some point, but for now it's a nice place to sit and read, which Reese has been doing a lot of out there. Now onto the baby's room.
This is just a sneak peek, why, because it isn't done :) I've been doing a lot of sewing. I made this ruffle pillow. I LOVE how it turned out and I just might have a ruffly pillow in every room if I don't stop myself.
I bought some curtain panels from Ikea and had to froo-froo them up and what better way than ric rac and ruffles!

This might be one of my favorite projects, the bunting! Those are all the fabrics I am using in the room. When she has a name, I will sew it onto it. Her name will have to be 7 letters or less I guess. I know I am driving some of you crazy (insert evil laugh). We also have a new paint color on the walls that were once white....pink. I am not an all pink kinda girl. I actually try to find baby clothes that aren't pink, but I am really liking the brown, green, and pink theme. It's turning out to be a little vintage and a little whimsical.

The baby's room has been fun to put together and so sad at the same time. It's meant saying goodbye in yet another way and allowing myself to accept what "will be" a little more. It's been a slow process, one that is not done yet, and it's taken a lot of thought and for me, it has brought on a lot of healing. I am looking forward to it being all done and sharing more pictures soon.

Our Little California Dude

The whole time Reese was gone, we promised Lane a wetsuit. Daddy got it over the weekend and in my opinion, Lane is the cutest little boogie boarder on the beach. So the last few days we have been riding our bikes down to the beach. The boys have their boogie boards in hand, I my camera and a book. Although I haven't gotten in too much reading, I am too busy watching Lane.

Reese is such a good teacher, Lane learns so much from him!
The waves were great for boogie boarding on Sunday. Lane had a blast and he even wiped out really good once.
Before the wetsuit, Lane liked to boogie board (he calls it buggy boarding), but it was a little cold just in his swimming shorts. With the wetsuit on he is in the water the whole time. This little guy was afraid of the water less than 2 years ago. Now he's in the ocean!

Sorry no pictures of this little girls room. No progress has been made yet, hopefully this week?

sigh......

Today I am breathing a little easier. Our favorite guy is back after being gone for over 4 months. I am so thankful to have him home safely. Now we can really prepare for baby and enjoy our time together. Hopefully we'll have some pictures of baby girls room before too long.

Oh Lane!

Lane's been quite entertaining lately. One day he decided to move the couches and vacuum under them. Great idea! He loves vacuuming with my little Shark vacuum.
The tooth fairy has visited out house twice in the past couple weeks! His first tooth came out on Aug 28th and the second one just came out this week at school. All the kids in his class were so excited that he had lost a tooth and some parents told me that their kids came home and told them. Must of been the highlight of the day :)
I am so glad I got a picture of this. Lane put on the glasses/nose/mustache thing and rode his scooter around. He is a clown and makes me laugh all the time. He acts like he knows it all and always has a big plan in his head. Today he wanted to build a spotlight....he knew exactly how he needed to do it, I on the other hand had no idea. A few days ago he told me he wanted to make a paper mache bowl. So we did, but I had to look up how to do it on the internet. I am so thankful to have him, what a funny guy.

Sew Busy

I've been busy making things for this little girl as well as some other girls in our neighborhood.

I made some iron on fabric things with my cricut, some fusible webbing and fabric.

Burp clothes, bibs and blankets. This girl will be coordinated!

This little gift set for one of our neighbor girls 4th birthday was fun to make! I bought the shirt, cut the flowers out of fabric with my cuttlebug, and ironed them on with fusible webbing. It was fun to also be able to make a matching hairclip for her. I've never done much of this stuff, mostly because I didn't "think pink" very often. But now that I'm in the pink groove it seems like the possibilities are endless!

We have been keeping really busy with school and getting together with friends. Over the weekend we went up to L.A. because my friend Kristen had tickets to Women of Faith. Her husband watched Lane while we got to listen to some awesome speakers and singers. The highlight for me was listening to Natalie Grant sing. She sings "Held" the song we had played at Case's funeral. She performed that song as well as other great songs. It was no coincidence that she was there and that I was invited to go. When I accepted the invitation I didn't even know she would be there. She was awesome and she is pregnant, due just about 5 weeks behind me. The speakers were great, my favorites were Sheila Walsh and Karen James.

Alot of things stood out over the weekend. Sheila Walsh reminded me to love my family and friends fully without putting up a wall to protect myself. After suffering a lot of loss, it would be easy to build walls to protect myself by not giving fully of myself to the people I love. That way if someone hurts me or someone dies I wouldn't be hurt "as bad." But what kind of life would that be, I would never live life fully that way. When Reese and I decided that we would just pray that we would get pregnant in Gods timing, we took a risk, we jumped in with both feet. And when I found out I was pregnant just 2 months after Case died, it was scary. But I have told myself over and over again, if I didn't allow myself to love another child again, I would miss out on life, the life that God has orchestrated and planned for me and created for me to enjoy. So I chose to jump in with both feet, take a risk, trust God with my loved ones, even if there is a possibility that I could lose someone else.

Another thing that stood out to me was a a quote by Shakespeare that one of them made reference to. "Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break." This is something I have found so true through my journey of grief. It's not always easy to give my sorrow words. I find it hardest to actually speak them to people, it's easier to give my sorrow words through writing. Writing on here and journaling has brought much healing. It gets out all these thoughts in my head, all the feelings that I am not sure what to do with. The conference was great, just what I needed at this time in my life.