Case's 3rd Birthday

Today was Case's 3rd Birthday.  Hard to believe that he would be three!  Lane was three when Reese went in to the Navy.  He seemed so big and I can't imagine Case being that big.  We sent up flying hugs and kisses to Case tonight.  We all wrote messages on the balloons.  Then we had cupcakes to celebrate Case's birthday.  Estelle really liked licking the frosting off of hers.  

It was great to have Reese here for this.  We all miss Case so much.  I am not sure that our family will ever feel complete without him here.  Lane said that he wanted to write on his balloon "see you soon" because he is going to see him when he goes to heaven.  I hope my kids will always hold on to the truth that we will see him in heaven and what a wonderful day that will be!

Matters of the Heart

I had an MRI of my heart last week, and on Tuesday we met with the cardiologist to go over what he found.  I have a very mild case of dilated cardiomyopathy.  The left ventricle of my heart is mildly dilated (the heart muscle is stretched thinner than it should be) and the output is a little low, when it should be between 55-65%, mine is at 49%.  This is very mild and they can't see any obvious things that are causing it.  I also have quite a few irregular heart beats.  And he has put me on a low dose of beta blockers for that.  While everything is very mild and this doesn't change my life too much right now, this is what my mom had.  She in addition to the cardiomyopathy also had a rhythm issue that would cause her heart to beat really fast for a really long time and sometimes cause her to pass out, I do not have this right now.  Also, her heart issues were not properly addressed either, which I think ultimately led to her death.  Mine have been caught early and are being and will be properly addressed and treated.  I know that this is good news, that mine is really mild and I have never passed out or had a racing heart. What I am dealing with right now is my fear that it could get worse, the fear of the unknown and what "might" happen is getting to me. I really need prayer for this.  I just want to embrace life and be thankful that I am healthy right now, but I am so fearful sometimes.  The beta blockers are supposed to make me more tired than usual, yet I still can't sleep at night.  I also have anger, anger that my life just can't be normal for a little while.  I know these are all normal reactions, but I really need prayer about this.  I know that God has a plan for me and that doesn't always mean that things will be easy on this earth.  I need to trust that and carry on.  I have come across some verses that have been very relevant for me.

My friend Kristen sent me this one,

"Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  Psalm 73: 25-26

And I found these about fear in Jesus Calling yesterday,

"In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one."  Ephesian 6:16

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation." Isaiah 12:2

Your prayers are very appreciated right now.  I will be back soon and hopefully be in better spirits :)

Catch Up!

Here is Little Miss in her 4th of July dress.  We had a fun, relaxing day at home and then we walked down to the beach to watch the fireworks.  Estelle even stayed up for them, she did great.

Earlier that day I made some bubble blowers out of old water bottles.  You just cut the bottoms off, slide an old sock over the bottom and secure it with a rubber band.  Then you put some dish soap and a little water in a shallow pan, dip the bottom of the bottle in and blow through the spout.  You get bubble snakes.  Fun!

Uncle Jordan is visiting this weekend.  On Friday afternoon and night we hung out down at the beach.  Estelle and Lane had a blast!  We roasted hot dogs and made smore's and Lane, Jo and Reese camped down there.  Lane even figured out how to ride Reese's giant beach cruiser on the sand no less.  He was quite proud.

Yesterday we did the Seal tour of San Diego.  It is this bus/boat. It is really cool and informative and I would recommend anyone coming here for a vacation to do it.  It's a little while on the roads and then you go into the bay and tour around while the tour guide gives you some fun facts.

 Lane loved it and Estelle did so well.  We had originally had my friend Kelly here to babysit her while we did it, but it ended up that we couldn't go at the time we wanted to, so we ended up taking her.  I had my doubts, but she ended up acting like a perfect little lady :)

 The sea lions are always a favorite.

This week is the week I have my MRI done on my heart.  Please pray that it goes well and that they are able to get to the bottom of this. Over the past month my emotions have been all over the place.  If I am diagnosed with some type of heart problem, whatever it might be, it could be a big game changer for me and our family.  My prayer is that whatever they saw in the echocardiogram is gone and it leaves the doctors confused yet relieved that my heart is perfectly healthy :)  And if that is not God's will for me, then my prayer is that the doctors and I can find the right treatment and that I can live a long and healthy life.  So... your prayers are appreciated.

Summertime

 I am really enjoying having my container garden this year!  Almost every year we've lived her I tried growing tomatoes and I am hopeful that this year I will have success!  There are these big green caterpillars (I think they are called cutworms) that love to eat my tomatoes.  I haven't found too many of them on it this year and I've been trying to keep up on picking them off.  I have a ton of grape tomatoes on there, now they just need to get ripe!  I also have sugar snap peas, jalapenos, strawberries, lettuce and some herbs.

 Estelle loves eating sand playing at the beach!

A couple weeks ago we headed up to Julian for the day.  We walked up to Washington Mine to check it out.  It was fun day, until Estelle screamed much of the way home :)  She's doesn't love the car.  Funny girl.  Lane loved exploring the mine, he just soaks things like that up!

Giant Bubbles

 A few weeks ago we decided to construct a giant bubble wand to use this summer.  I found instructions on the Tatertots and Jello blog .  Lane and I had fun constructing it and mixing up the solution.  The bubble solution calls for glycerin.  I found it at Rite Aid, I just had to ask someone who worked there and they found it for me.  I think they also have it at Michaels.  The bubbles that we were getting were really big but the problem was that they were popping before they came off the wand.  Then Reese came home... and the first time he tried it he was getting giant bubbles.  Of course, that guy is good at everything he does!

The bubbles will be a fun addition to our door play time this summer.  We have already had a crowd of neighborhood kids running around and popping them.  And it's totally addictive, once you get a good bubble you want to do it again and again!

It's been a hard couple weeks.  As I said before I went to see a cardiologist about my heart.  He decided to do an echocardiogram.  It came back "mildly abnormal."  So the next step is to wear a holter monitor for 24 hours and MRI of my heart.  The MRI isn't until July so this is just a lot of waiting.  I am concerned and worried, after all my mom died at 45 from a heart disease.  But I am trying to not get ahead of myself and just trust.  I know God has a plan for us, and it's a good one, even if it's not easy or what I want.  I am feeling so thankful that Reese is home for all of this.  His command has been wonderful throughout all of our trials the last few years.  I know not all military families have that, so I am grateful!

18 months +

 Estelle turned 18 months in May.  I finally got her to her well baby appointment the other day.  She weighed about 26 lbs and is 33 inches tall.  She is starting to slim out now.  When the doctor asked me if she said seven clear words, I was like umm.... we are getting there.  Her talking cracks me up.  She really jabbers and although I know a lot of the words she is saying, other people would not understand them clearly.  She loves being outside, riding her bike, watching bubbles, and sitting on my lap :)  Some days when she is really crabby I just have to sit down with her for a little while and it usually makes everything better again.  Estelle is quite emotional.  Sometimes I love it because she gets so excited about things and she is so happy and loving towards us.  And then there are days when it drives me up a wall, she gets mad about everything and screams when I can't hold her or if we are doing something she doesn't like.  I guess that's a toddler for you.  She is so much fun, I love her sugar and spice!

 

Major Awards

Lane received some major awards in the last couple weeks :)  We joke that they are "major awards" like the leg lamp on A Christmas Story.  We are so proud of him and what a great kids he is.  First grade has been a great year!

Lane has been during AWANA this year and has really had fun.  He finished two books this year.  They had an awards ceremony a couple weeks ago.

On Memorial day we had a end of the season baseball BBQ and pool party.  Lane got his baseball trophy there and his coach said a couple things about each kid.  The things he said about Lane is that he swung as hard as he good every time (whether it was a good pitch or not it didn't matter, the kids just swung!) and that he would throw the ball as far as he could from the outfield.  Those were things that his coach thought were unique to Lane and they certainly were :)

Then last Saturday we went to the closing ceremonies for baseball and they had another awards ceremony.  Each CAPS team (the league Lane is in) chose one player from each team to get a Character Award and Lane was chosen.  His coach told us that Lane had great sportsmanship and worked hard every time and that is why he chose him.  Reese got to be here for this one too.  He is home for a little bit.  I had a couple of trips to the ER last week.  My left side of my face and my arm went tingly and the second time I had burning in my chest (not heartburn :).  Given my family history with heart problems I am seeing a cardiologist to get it all checked out.  So they sent Reese home so we can get it figured out.  The ER doctors told me that it is probably stress (and a possible pinched nerve).  But we don't want to take any chances (since my mom was told it was stress for quite a while before she was diagnosed) and I will get some tests done.  So prayers are appreciated.  The good thing is that I don't have any of the symptoms she had like a racing heart or dizziness.

I will try to update the blog a bit more often.  I feel like life is really getting in the way of doing the fun stuff like blogging (as well as other things).  But... my classes are over (until I start the next one on June 18) and I got all A's!  I am looking forward to summertime when there isn't a whole lot going on.